Saying Goodbye

It is a simple fact in this world: everything cannot stay the same forever. People cannot stay stagnant. We move, we change, we want bigger and better things. And though we may not realize it, when we leave those places and those situations, we also leave those people whom we have touched. We live in a world of constant change, where people come in and out of our lives so quickly, and there are some of us who can accept this better and more gracefully than others.

I have previously expressed that I do not do well with change. I am a creature of habit, though I have been taking some risks and trying some new things lately. There are moments in life when I feel as though, finally, everything in one facet of my life or another is beginning to take shape, beginning to settle, beginning to feel right. And then, without fail, the rug gets pulled out from underneath me, and I am left with a sort of empty feeling. Every few years, I experience a loss like this. People move away in high school, then friend groups spread out to different colleges across the country. Workmates find other jobs and new school friends take different classes, never to be seen again.

Sometimes, you have to say goodbye to someone with whom you have grown very close. Those are the ones that leave the biggest hole, the deepest emptiness, the most pain. They are the ones that you can count on, the ones that listen, the ones that you always text first because they're the ones that deserves to know the good news before anyone else. They are the ones that care, the ones that you feel most comfortable with, and the ones that you could never imagine being without. Until one day, they are slipping out of your fingers and out of your life.

But though their departures are always the most painful, those kind of goodbyes also come with the most happy memories. Laughs and smiles and hugs. Secrets shared and stories told. Special moments and everyday routines. Inside jokes and silly names. And though they are moving on, physically out of your life, they will never be completely gone. One text, one phone call, one letter, one car ride away. Quoting a line from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban:

"But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in [your heart.]"

Trying New Things

There are moments in our lives where routine takes hold, and we are inevitably stuck in the same old rut, just going in circles. We become trapped in an endless cycle of work, or school, or life in general, with no way out, with nothing different to shake things up. No progress, no adventure, and sometimes, no fun.

I am, admittedly, one of those people who loves routine. It's safe, it's comfortable, and I know what to expect. But, sometimes, change is meant to happen. You cannot grow without some sort of change. Sometimes, risks are worth every moment spent agonizing over a decision, big or small, and the reward can be great.

Though I tend to stay within the relative confines of routine, on some occasions, I am gutsy enough to take risks. I typically make the decision, and then spend hours, days, weeks wondering if I made the right choice or why I said yes in the first place. And then, the day comes, and when it is over, I don't know why I worried in the first place. The accomplished feeling washes over me, and I spend the rest of the day happy and content.

The unknown scares me. Failing scares me. For me, taking risks is not only about doing something new, it is also about facing those fears. People have encouraged me to break out of my comfort zone before, and I am slowly learning to do so. And that is why I try to encourage others to do the same. Flip-flopping on a decision? Go for it. Especially if it is something new or exciting. You never know what you may find.